Tired of waiting

I'm still at the hospital. i spent 15 hours at the hospital yesterday and it was all worth it for the 10 minutes that i got to see Jeremy. He looked so helpless but just seeing him and knowing everything went well made me feel better.

Today i woke up at 7, got ready and went to the hospital. I got to spend an hour and a half just sitting with him because his family hadn't arrived yet. I was excited. Time flew by but i was happy afterwards. He didn't talk to me too much but i got him to smile a couple of time and that made me happy.

I thought i was going to cry, i was crying out to God silently but it just killed me to hear that he can't feel the left side of his body. He wanted me to hold his left hand which i was, and he was squeezing it, but in his little mumbly way he said he couldn't feel my hand. He kept looking for something and i asked what he was looking for and he told me his hand. I just wanted to cry for him. His sister was touching his foot and leg asking him if he could feel it, but he couldn't. It hurts me because i know he's stressing out about it. We are hoping it all has to do with the swelling of his head and so when the swelling goes down that the sensation and motor skills will return to his left side of his body.

It is so hard sitting in a waiting room all day long. I can't wait till he moves out of ICU. I need to be reading for school but i wish i could be just next to him reading, no matter how silly that sounds, it would just make me feel better. But being in the ICU there are only 2 people allowed back at a time, which his parents are back there doing just that, after sitting her next to them for the past 15 minutes wishing that i had the courage to ask them if that was okay before they did just that. But i didn't. Go figure.

It's hard just sitting here. My heart hurts for him. He just got out of an IMRI which is a new type of MRI that they do and is now sleeping. He did not want to go do the MRI, because he's already in much pain and i guess the MRI hurt yesterday and so he didn't want to hurt anymore. It just makes me sad. I can't imaging being in his position. I can't imagine hurting like him. I keep praying, That's all i know how to do. I can't do anything else.

This time is different from the last time. Last surgery he had he was up and moving around by now. But he's not, and he can't. He tries to move around but he's in so much pain. I don't know what else they are supposed to do today. We are waiting on the Doctor to come back and tell us the results of the MRI.....

many many many hours later...

Well so while i was typing all that above, Jeremy's parents came back and the MRI results showed what they think was a stroke. They told me he was awake and i could go back to see him. Well i went with his sister Jennifer and then she left and my mom came back. I told my mom that i was going to sit back there till his parents decided they wanted to. So basically i spent all day by Jeremy's bedside. I got to see him move his left foot.

Well he's doing better, but in much pain still. He's still in ICU and hopefully they will move him out later. Although he is hurting and i am still in prayer i am happier that i got to spend most of the day with him, and that i know for sure now that his parents like me, which was something i was very much worried about!!!!

GOODNIGHT

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart

Today i am very nervous, though most of my nervousness has passed by now, i am worried the Jeremy i have come to know and love will be different. See today Jeremy is in surgery. He was diagnosed with epilepsy during high school and had surgery during his junior yr in high school. But his seizures continued. So today he is in surgery for the removal of his temporal lobe. It's been amazing to see how much trust i have to put in the Lord so that i am at peace with the things going on. People have just been amazing. My dad sent out and an email to all the people he knows that are prayer warriors and they forwarded the email to people they know. People from San Antonio, Tx all the way to Africa have been praying for Jeremy and his family.

I'm ready to see him already i have become very anxious, yet keeping myself occupied with playing with Jeremy's 4 year old nephew Dylan. He's really cute and it's been nice to keep my mind off of worrying about Jeremy. He is trusting in the Lord and so am

Jeremy is currently in ICU and has not woken from the Anesthesia. His mom after passing out throwing up from some virus she has went home before the surgery is over. Please keep his family in your prayers. Apparently his left side of the body is pretty weak but they say that is normal considering they removed alot of the right side of his brain. We don't know if anything with his personality or memory has changed. I really hope that everything is fine and i trust God but i am currently struggling with worrying about that too much.

All i can do is wait. And waiting is hard to do....

As 1 Cor. 13 4-7 says... love is patient...

So i am trying to be patient.