Thursday, February 5, 2009

Oh what a day

So today i had an amazing 2 hour lunch with Mrs. Amy, you know catching up on life. Amy asked me a question that i ponder often. She asked me what i would tell girls now about dating in High School. I believe i trailed off into a 30 minute long answer. It was amazing, i felt like i was having a revolution(i think that's the right word) about what i should be/or am being called to do. I have always felt that God was calling me into some sort of ministy i just hadn't figure it out yet. Anyways, i have this amazing passion for younger girls and thier dating relationships. Not just about being pure, because sure that is a HUGE part of it, but just everything that goes along with it. I read a few months ago "When God Writes Your Love Story" By Leslie and Eric Ludy and i am currently reading "Every womans battle", but i just have such passion about how i believe girls should approach dating and why we settle. I started answering her question by talking about how as a young christian girl we truly long for a nice christian guy, but we feel as if we never meet many or any at all and so instead of waiting till we do we start to settle. We lower our standards a little. In our hearts we believe that we deserve a great guy but then feel as if maybe our standards are too high or we are asking too much by wanting a God fearing Man. So then starts the fall. Once you lower your standards once then the more you lower them the next time you date a guy. We start to date "good" non-christian guys even though what God truly wants for us is a great God fearing man. But within his time. We don't want to be patient because all the girls around us are dating and we feel left out.But in reality they are just doing the same thing. So then, we put ourselves out there too much emotionally, giving everything we have to keep this guy in our lives and things don't work out. We become heart broken and go to the next guy. When what God really wants is for us to desire him. For us to be fully satisfied in him and not in some guy. I think girls determine how pretty they are based upon what guys think of them. We get up and get dressed and pick out our outfits in relation to who we are going to see that day. But why? Why is it that the more guys you have paying attention to you the prettier you are? I mean that's what our culture teaches us. Why doesn't it teach us that God made us just the way he wanted us. And that we are beauitful just the way we are. Then if you want to talk about purity and that aspect of dating theres is the whole temptation thing. I think that as girls we feel guilty or shameful when tempted or pressured into pushing the limits and going to far. And sometimes when you feel that guilt and shame you give in because of it. But we shouldn't be guilty for being tempted. Temptation isn't a sin, Jesus was tempted, and he did not sin. If girls could understand that God wants us to give our love and affection that we give to guys to him, and not to lower our standards to fit in or to feel loved and girls leaned on each other to stand firm in that how different our lives could be. What if a whole group of strong christian girls who were dating non christian guy decided they no longer wanted to settler. That instead they were going to focus on giving thier hearts to God. Letting him show them what true love really is. And wait for God to present a strong christian guy in thier lives. What would that relationship become once it started. What would the friendships of those girls be like if they were truely honest with each other during the struggle of not dating anyone. I believe those relationship would be amazing.

Had I had that mind set and known those things my dating life would be completely different. I've done it, i've settled, i've gotten tired of waiting around for a nice christian guy to come around and dated some "good" guys, but they didn't help me grow spiritually. They weren't helping me in my walk with Christ. They weren't challenging me to be better. I wasn't bearing fruit and i was seaking out the Lord because it wasn't something that they were doing. I find it very important to involve God in your dating relationship. Extremely important. And i wish that in High School had i realized all the things i know now that i might have approached things differently. And i don't have all the answers and i don't know everything. But i've learned so much, and i just have this passion for girls who are going through it. Because i wish someone had been real with me, i wish i had known that temptation isnt' a sin and that i didn't have to feel guilt or shame when being tempted. That somewhere in the bible it talks about submitting or honoring your husband all the days of your life. Not just from the day you meet him or get married, all the days. That means honoring him by the way i treat my relationships with the guys i date now. If i give everything I have to everyguy i date what will have to give to my husband one day? Well i found if very comforting realizing i had such a passion for this. I really hope i can figure out a way to get myself involved in a ministry that helps young women.

2 comments:

Jeff Reininger said...

let me just say, first of all, that is awesome! i think you and i are like twins..only i'm like 10 years older! i know exactly what you're talking about, and i love being able to mentor to younger guys, or at least sharing my story and thoughts, to get the ball rolling in their head. question though, how often do you think that stubborn high schoolers have to play the game of 'live and learn' in order for the truths to really sink in? do you think that if someone had come along and told you these things a few years ago that you'd be a totally different person now, and never would have gone through the things you did? i'm sure there's a chance, but i think for me, i'm the kind of person who typically has to see to believe. just a thought. thoughts?

Amy and Chris said...

WOW! Isn't amazing what God can do thru a simple lunch! Let me just say that I am so excited to see where God is taking you because I've already seen some of the journey and it's just starting! When I asked you that question at lunch I was blown away when you started to answer because it flowed out of you as if you had written a speech and memorized it. I knew that it was truly from God that you were speaking. At that moment I was not only excited about who you could share this with next but you ministered to me as well. I truly believe that God allows us to go thru things in our life so that they become part of our story and while sharing our story with others we share His story at the same time. Then they go out and do the same thing and on and on it goes. So Kristyn keep sharing your story! I love you!