So today i had an amazing 2 hour lunch with Mrs. Amy, you know catching up on life. Amy asked me a question that i ponder often. She asked me what i would tell girls now about dating in High School. I believe i trailed off into a 30 minute long answer. It was amazing, i felt like i was having a revolution(i think that's the right word) about what i should be/or am being called to do. I have always felt that God was calling me into some sort of ministy i just hadn't figure it out yet. Anyways, i have this amazing passion for younger girls and thier dating relationships. Not just about being pure, because sure that is a HUGE part of it, but just everything that goes along with it. I read a few months ago "When God Writes Your Love Story" By Leslie and Eric Ludy and i am currently reading "Every womans battle", but i just have such passion about how i believe girls should approach dating and why we settle. I started answering her question by talking about how as a young christian girl we truly long for a nice christian guy, but we feel as if we never meet many or any at all and so instead of waiting till we do we start to settle. We lower our standards a little. In our hearts we believe that we deserve a great guy but then feel as if maybe our standards are too high or we are asking too much by wanting a God fearing Man. So then starts the fall. Once you lower your standards once then the more you lower them the next time you date a guy. We start to date "good" non-christian guys even though what God truly wants for us is a great God fearing man. But within his time. We don't want to be patient because all the girls around us are dating and we feel left out.But in reality they are just doing the same thing. So then, we put ourselves out there too much emotionally, giving everything we have to keep this guy in our lives and things don't work out. We become heart broken and go to the next guy. When what God really wants is for us to desire him. For us to be fully satisfied in him and not in some guy. I think girls determine how pretty they are based upon what guys think of them. We get up and get dressed and pick out our outfits in relation to who we are going to see that day. But why? Why is it that the more guys you have paying attention to you the prettier you are? I mean that's what our culture teaches us. Why doesn't it teach us that God made us just the way he wanted us. And that we are beauitful just the way we are. Then if you want to talk about purity and that aspect of dating theres is the whole temptation thing. I think that as girls we feel guilty or shameful when tempted or pressured into pushing the limits and going to far. And sometimes when you feel that guilt and shame you give in because of it. But we shouldn't be guilty for being tempted. Temptation isn't a sin, Jesus was tempted, and he did not sin. If girls could understand that God wants us to give our love and affection that we give to guys to him, and not to lower our standards to fit in or to feel loved and girls leaned on each other to stand firm in that how different our lives could be. What if a whole group of strong christian girls who were dating non christian guy decided they no longer wanted to settler. That instead they were going to focus on giving thier hearts to God. Letting him show them what true love really is. And wait for God to present a strong christian guy in thier lives. What would that relationship become once it started. What would the friendships of those girls be like if they were truely honest with each other during the struggle of not dating anyone. I believe those relationship would be amazing.
Had I had that mind set and known those things my dating life would be completely different. I've done it, i've settled, i've gotten tired of waiting around for a nice christian guy to come around and dated some "good" guys, but they didn't help me grow spiritually. They weren't helping me in my walk with Christ. They weren't challenging me to be better. I wasn't bearing fruit and i was seaking out the Lord because it wasn't something that they were doing. I find it very important to involve God in your dating relationship. Extremely important. And i wish that in High School had i realized all the things i know now that i might have approached things differently. And i don't have all the answers and i don't know everything. But i've learned so much, and i just have this passion for girls who are going through it. Because i wish someone had been real with me, i wish i had known that temptation isnt' a sin and that i didn't have to feel guilt or shame when being tempted. That somewhere in the bible it talks about submitting or honoring your husband all the days of your life. Not just from the day you meet him or get married, all the days. That means honoring him by the way i treat my relationships with the guys i date now. If i give everything I have to everyguy i date what will have to give to my husband one day? Well i found if very comforting realizing i had such a passion for this. I really hope i can figure out a way to get myself involved in a ministry that helps young women.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Cause it's you alone i live for!
It's about time for a new blog.
So, i was listening to KLTY radio. Which is a Dallas/Fort Worth area radio station, but i prefer their music selection over klove's. Anyways, this lady was talking about how there were times in her life that she would ask people for help. But they would just tell her that she would eventually figure it out. It takes me back to times when i have seen people go through hard times or difficulties and look back and see that if i had said what was on my mind, or put in my thoughts about whatever was happening, that things might have not of turned out so well. I believe that there is a time to step in and say "hey, somethings not right here", but there are also times where you have to let close ones make their own decision.
It's like my relationship with God. There are times where God is like "HEY KRISTYN!!!" in his big powerful voice out of the clouds...(jk.. that was for dramatic effect) anyways... God says "Hey, Kristyn! We need to talk! You are so far away from me, let me help you get back on the right track" But there are also times that God just watches me make my own decision. Even if sometimes i ask him for help. Don't get me wrong, God will walk along side me, but he allows us to make our own decisions. God's love for us is unconditional which to me just amazes me. And sometimes he allows us to go through our journey and just watch us so that we learn what ever it is that he may be trying to teach us.
It's pretty Amazing!
BTW: It's nice to finally blog again!
So, i was listening to KLTY radio. Which is a Dallas/Fort Worth area radio station, but i prefer their music selection over klove's. Anyways, this lady was talking about how there were times in her life that she would ask people for help. But they would just tell her that she would eventually figure it out. It takes me back to times when i have seen people go through hard times or difficulties and look back and see that if i had said what was on my mind, or put in my thoughts about whatever was happening, that things might have not of turned out so well. I believe that there is a time to step in and say "hey, somethings not right here", but there are also times where you have to let close ones make their own decision.
It's like my relationship with God. There are times where God is like "HEY KRISTYN!!!" in his big powerful voice out of the clouds...(jk.. that was for dramatic effect) anyways... God says "Hey, Kristyn! We need to talk! You are so far away from me, let me help you get back on the right track" But there are also times that God just watches me make my own decision. Even if sometimes i ask him for help. Don't get me wrong, God will walk along side me, but he allows us to make our own decisions. God's love for us is unconditional which to me just amazes me. And sometimes he allows us to go through our journey and just watch us so that we learn what ever it is that he may be trying to teach us.
It's pretty Amazing!
BTW: It's nice to finally blog again!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Tired of waiting
I'm still at the hospital. i spent 15 hours at the hospital yesterday and it was all worth it for the 10 minutes that i got to see Jeremy. He looked so helpless but just seeing him and knowing everything went well made me feel better.
Today i woke up at 7, got ready and went to the hospital. I got to spend an hour and a half just sitting with him because his family hadn't arrived yet. I was excited. Time flew by but i was happy afterwards. He didn't talk to me too much but i got him to smile a couple of time and that made me happy.
I thought i was going to cry, i was crying out to God silently but it just killed me to hear that he can't feel the left side of his body. He wanted me to hold his left hand which i was, and he was squeezing it, but in his little mumbly way he said he couldn't feel my hand. He kept looking for something and i asked what he was looking for and he told me his hand. I just wanted to cry for him. His sister was touching his foot and leg asking him if he could feel it, but he couldn't. It hurts me because i know he's stressing out about it. We are hoping it all has to do with the swelling of his head and so when the swelling goes down that the sensation and motor skills will return to his left side of his body.
It is so hard sitting in a waiting room all day long. I can't wait till he moves out of ICU. I need to be reading for school but i wish i could be just next to him reading, no matter how silly that sounds, it would just make me feel better. But being in the ICU there are only 2 people allowed back at a time, which his parents are back there doing just that, after sitting her next to them for the past 15 minutes wishing that i had the courage to ask them if that was okay before they did just that. But i didn't. Go figure.
It's hard just sitting here. My heart hurts for him. He just got out of an IMRI which is a new type of MRI that they do and is now sleeping. He did not want to go do the MRI, because he's already in much pain and i guess the MRI hurt yesterday and so he didn't want to hurt anymore. It just makes me sad. I can't imaging being in his position. I can't imagine hurting like him. I keep praying, That's all i know how to do. I can't do anything else.
This time is different from the last time. Last surgery he had he was up and moving around by now. But he's not, and he can't. He tries to move around but he's in so much pain. I don't know what else they are supposed to do today. We are waiting on the Doctor to come back and tell us the results of the MRI.....
many many many hours later...
Well so while i was typing all that above, Jeremy's parents came back and the MRI results showed what they think was a stroke. They told me he was awake and i could go back to see him. Well i went with his sister Jennifer and then she left and my mom came back. I told my mom that i was going to sit back there till his parents decided they wanted to. So basically i spent all day by Jeremy's bedside. I got to see him move his left foot.
Well he's doing better, but in much pain still. He's still in ICU and hopefully they will move him out later. Although he is hurting and i am still in prayer i am happier that i got to spend most of the day with him, and that i know for sure now that his parents like me, which was something i was very much worried about!!!!
GOODNIGHT
Today i woke up at 7, got ready and went to the hospital. I got to spend an hour and a half just sitting with him because his family hadn't arrived yet. I was excited. Time flew by but i was happy afterwards. He didn't talk to me too much but i got him to smile a couple of time and that made me happy.
I thought i was going to cry, i was crying out to God silently but it just killed me to hear that he can't feel the left side of his body. He wanted me to hold his left hand which i was, and he was squeezing it, but in his little mumbly way he said he couldn't feel my hand. He kept looking for something and i asked what he was looking for and he told me his hand. I just wanted to cry for him. His sister was touching his foot and leg asking him if he could feel it, but he couldn't. It hurts me because i know he's stressing out about it. We are hoping it all has to do with the swelling of his head and so when the swelling goes down that the sensation and motor skills will return to his left side of his body.
It is so hard sitting in a waiting room all day long. I can't wait till he moves out of ICU. I need to be reading for school but i wish i could be just next to him reading, no matter how silly that sounds, it would just make me feel better. But being in the ICU there are only 2 people allowed back at a time, which his parents are back there doing just that, after sitting her next to them for the past 15 minutes wishing that i had the courage to ask them if that was okay before they did just that. But i didn't. Go figure.
It's hard just sitting here. My heart hurts for him. He just got out of an IMRI which is a new type of MRI that they do and is now sleeping. He did not want to go do the MRI, because he's already in much pain and i guess the MRI hurt yesterday and so he didn't want to hurt anymore. It just makes me sad. I can't imaging being in his position. I can't imagine hurting like him. I keep praying, That's all i know how to do. I can't do anything else.
This time is different from the last time. Last surgery he had he was up and moving around by now. But he's not, and he can't. He tries to move around but he's in so much pain. I don't know what else they are supposed to do today. We are waiting on the Doctor to come back and tell us the results of the MRI.....
many many many hours later...
Well so while i was typing all that above, Jeremy's parents came back and the MRI results showed what they think was a stroke. They told me he was awake and i could go back to see him. Well i went with his sister Jennifer and then she left and my mom came back. I told my mom that i was going to sit back there till his parents decided they wanted to. So basically i spent all day by Jeremy's bedside. I got to see him move his left foot.
Well he's doing better, but in much pain still. He's still in ICU and hopefully they will move him out later. Although he is hurting and i am still in prayer i am happier that i got to spend most of the day with him, and that i know for sure now that his parents like me, which was something i was very much worried about!!!!
GOODNIGHT
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart
Today i am very nervous, though most of my nervousness has passed by now, i am worried the Jeremy i have come to know and love will be different. See today Jeremy is in surgery. He was diagnosed with epilepsy during high school and had surgery during his junior yr in high school. But his seizures continued. So today he is in surgery for the removal of his temporal lobe. It's been amazing to see how much trust i have to put in the Lord so that i am at peace with the things going on. People have just been amazing. My dad sent out and an email to all the people he knows that are prayer warriors and they forwarded the email to people they know. People from San Antonio, Tx all the way to Africa have been praying for Jeremy and his family.
I'm ready to see him already i have become very anxious, yet keeping myself occupied with playing with Jeremy's 4 year old nephew Dylan. He's really cute and it's been nice to keep my mind off of worrying about Jeremy. He is trusting in the Lord and so am
Jeremy is currently in ICU and has not woken from the Anesthesia. His mom after passing out throwing up from some virus she has went home before the surgery is over. Please keep his family in your prayers. Apparently his left side of the body is pretty weak but they say that is normal considering they removed alot of the right side of his brain. We don't know if anything with his personality or memory has changed. I really hope that everything is fine and i trust God but i am currently struggling with worrying about that too much.
All i can do is wait. And waiting is hard to do....
As 1 Cor. 13 4-7 says... love is patient...
So i am trying to be patient.
I'm ready to see him already i have become very anxious, yet keeping myself occupied with playing with Jeremy's 4 year old nephew Dylan. He's really cute and it's been nice to keep my mind off of worrying about Jeremy. He is trusting in the Lord and so am
Jeremy is currently in ICU and has not woken from the Anesthesia. His mom after passing out throwing up from some virus she has went home before the surgery is over. Please keep his family in your prayers. Apparently his left side of the body is pretty weak but they say that is normal considering they removed alot of the right side of his brain. We don't know if anything with his personality or memory has changed. I really hope that everything is fine and i trust God but i am currently struggling with worrying about that too much.
All i can do is wait. And waiting is hard to do....
As 1 Cor. 13 4-7 says... love is patient...
So i am trying to be patient.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
With all of my heart I'm going to Love you
Ok, so i have gotten off track, i guess i have just been so busy feeling like things in my life are going good and managing it that yet again i have brushed my reading the bible aside. Starting a habit is seriously hard. I'm already behind. :-( I really wish that i could have said that i accomplished my 30 days without missing any, but i can't. I never thought it was going to be easy and it isn't. But why? Probably because being a christian isn't always easy either. We have trials and tribulations and we fall down but i also have a great father who will pick me up. Brush off the dirt for me and tell me to keep trying, never to give up, because he's going to always love me. So here again i will start another 30 days. So wish me good luck and if you happen to ever talk to me or see me, don't be afriad to ask me if i've read my bible consistently everyday. I'd appreciate if i had the help of others to keep me accountable.
Now on to the excitements in my life. I have been talking to this great christian guy that i happened to meet at super summer. I have built the greatest friendship with him over the last month and i really believe that our relationship is centered around christ which is really an encouraging thing. Well I am leaving tomorrow morning to go visit him for a few days, as well as spend some time with some family. I'm really excited about it. But, one thing i hope for all my readers is that you keep him in your prayers. See he was diagnosed with Epilepsy his Junior Year of high school. He's had brain surgery once to remove some tissue in the brain. Well, his seizure are still happening more often than the doctors would like, and tomorrow morning he has a meeting with them to discuss whether or not they would like to perform another surgery where they actually remove a part of his brain. So while i'm on my drive up he's meeting with them. He had a big seizure on Saturday and is kind of bummed because he went 3 months without having a "big" one and every time he has a big or "grandma" seizure he can't drive for 6 months. So if you'd keep that in your prayers i would be so greatful.
Thanks my friends!!
I love you all!
Now on to the excitements in my life. I have been talking to this great christian guy that i happened to meet at super summer. I have built the greatest friendship with him over the last month and i really believe that our relationship is centered around christ which is really an encouraging thing. Well I am leaving tomorrow morning to go visit him for a few days, as well as spend some time with some family. I'm really excited about it. But, one thing i hope for all my readers is that you keep him in your prayers. See he was diagnosed with Epilepsy his Junior Year of high school. He's had brain surgery once to remove some tissue in the brain. Well, his seizure are still happening more often than the doctors would like, and tomorrow morning he has a meeting with them to discuss whether or not they would like to perform another surgery where they actually remove a part of his brain. So while i'm on my drive up he's meeting with them. He had a big seizure on Saturday and is kind of bummed because he went 3 months without having a "big" one and every time he has a big or "grandma" seizure he can't drive for 6 months. So if you'd keep that in your prayers i would be so greatful.
Thanks my friends!!
I love you all!
Friday, August 1, 2008
1 Day down and 29 more to go!
Ok so i am going to hold myself accountable, and hopefully those who read this will keep me accountable to this as well, I am going to strive to read my bible every day for the next 30 days. I have heard that it takes 30 days to make a habit, and I know of all people that it is so hard to be in the word once school starts up. So Here I am going to try. I'm not going to randomly read different parts. I have started in the past week to start reading about the life of David, a Man after God's own heart. I want to learn how to be that, how to be humble and passionate about God as David was. I know that David was not perfect, he was not Jesus. But I believe he's in the bible to teach us alot. So i'm reading through Samuel 1 and 2. And my dad recently told me he had a book that might help me, as well as a friend who said he'd go through it with me as well.
God is so amazing, and i find that i feel very guilty when i spend so much of my day doing other things and forgetting or not ever having time to seek him and learn about him. I mean i love spending quality time with my friends so why is it, that i don't find time to spend some quality time with my creator. So this is my goal for the next 30 days. I'm so excited for school to start and i believe that this is a great way to kick off this next Semester.
God is so amazing, and i find that i feel very guilty when i spend so much of my day doing other things and forgetting or not ever having time to seek him and learn about him. I mean i love spending quality time with my friends so why is it, that i don't find time to spend some quality time with my creator. So this is my goal for the next 30 days. I'm so excited for school to start and i believe that this is a great way to kick off this next Semester.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Another Glorious Night
My dear fellow bloggers:
Another night I spent babysitting and again God met me here. Instead of watching tv after the kids had left I decided that It would be a good idea to read my bible. I really want to study the life of David. I want to learn how he became a man after God’s own heart. So I didn’t know where David first comes into the bible. So I started off in 1 kings thinking that since David was a king that he’d be in there. But the 1st chapter talks about King David giving up his thrown to Solomon, so I went back, and found where Samuel is looking for a king. What I learned as I read tonight was more about how David was just the runt of the family, how his father didn’t bring him to see if he was “fit enough” to be king. David was so humble. Somehow I started thinking about my own dad. About how yesterday when I had lunch with him how when he saw someone he knew he was always so proud in saying “This is my daughter Kristyn, she’s having lunch with me today” And he said it in a way that made me so happy to be his daughter, to know that he loves me and that he’s proud of me and wants everyone to know that I’m his daughter. I started to think about how I value my earthly fathers opinion of me, that may be silly but I do. I care a lot about whether or not he’s proud of me. And so as I read the chapter in Samuel and was reflecting on it I began to wonder why I treat my relationship with my earthly father better than my heavenly. Why is it that I care so much about my father’s opinion is here on earth? I mean I care a lot of what God thinks of me, but how often do I tell him that. How often do I ask for God’s approval in my life. Or why is it that when I argue with God that I still make the wrong decision. And that here on earthy I always end up making the decision my dad thought was best for me. But I believe God is never ashamed to call me his daughter, even through my mistakes, yet I treat him differently…
David was so humble, he was just a runt, but he loved God so much. People talked very highly of David. I wish someone would say this about me “ He’s also courageous, of age, well-spoken, and good-looking, And GOD is with him” I mean, I know God is with me, But how often do I hear people say “ Oh Kristyn… God’s with her” And that be a blessing, something that people want or are looking for when searching for whoever… For david they were just looking for someone to play a harp, but it made his “resume” better because “GOD is with him” What if we could put that in our resume. But why can’t we, why is it that we don’t. I mean why don’t I put under my strengths list, “follower of Jesus Christ” I mean I see that as a strength in my life, but that’s not something I list when in search for a Job.
God’s shown me a lot, and it’s all kind of random and jibberish thoughts and highly unorganized but it is also 12:10AM and I am also tired.
Another night I spent babysitting and again God met me here. Instead of watching tv after the kids had left I decided that It would be a good idea to read my bible. I really want to study the life of David. I want to learn how he became a man after God’s own heart. So I didn’t know where David first comes into the bible. So I started off in 1 kings thinking that since David was a king that he’d be in there. But the 1st chapter talks about King David giving up his thrown to Solomon, so I went back, and found where Samuel is looking for a king. What I learned as I read tonight was more about how David was just the runt of the family, how his father didn’t bring him to see if he was “fit enough” to be king. David was so humble. Somehow I started thinking about my own dad. About how yesterday when I had lunch with him how when he saw someone he knew he was always so proud in saying “This is my daughter Kristyn, she’s having lunch with me today” And he said it in a way that made me so happy to be his daughter, to know that he loves me and that he’s proud of me and wants everyone to know that I’m his daughter. I started to think about how I value my earthly fathers opinion of me, that may be silly but I do. I care a lot about whether or not he’s proud of me. And so as I read the chapter in Samuel and was reflecting on it I began to wonder why I treat my relationship with my earthly father better than my heavenly. Why is it that I care so much about my father’s opinion is here on earth? I mean I care a lot of what God thinks of me, but how often do I tell him that. How often do I ask for God’s approval in my life. Or why is it that when I argue with God that I still make the wrong decision. And that here on earthy I always end up making the decision my dad thought was best for me. But I believe God is never ashamed to call me his daughter, even through my mistakes, yet I treat him differently…
David was so humble, he was just a runt, but he loved God so much. People talked very highly of David. I wish someone would say this about me “ He’s also courageous, of age, well-spoken, and good-looking, And GOD is with him” I mean, I know God is with me, But how often do I hear people say “ Oh Kristyn… God’s with her” And that be a blessing, something that people want or are looking for when searching for whoever… For david they were just looking for someone to play a harp, but it made his “resume” better because “GOD is with him” What if we could put that in our resume. But why can’t we, why is it that we don’t. I mean why don’t I put under my strengths list, “follower of Jesus Christ” I mean I see that as a strength in my life, but that’s not something I list when in search for a Job.
God’s shown me a lot, and it’s all kind of random and jibberish thoughts and highly unorganized but it is also 12:10AM and I am also tired.
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